Fear and Lies When I Communicate With My Son

How we speak to our children influences a lot in the formation of their personalities, it is for this reason the importance of being able to communicate with them in the most correct way possible to avoid that they feel wounded, overprotected or frightened with our words especially when the fear and Lies prevail in them.

1. Fear:
Fear is an emotion that predominates in most cases as we communicate with our children, but fear is not always a good learning method because it can form unsafe children. Here are some examples:
✓ "Do not stand in the chair because you're going to fall" instead of "Do not get on the chair because the chair is made to sit not to play in it".
✓ "Do not turn on the television because you are going to damage the view" instead of: "What if you play with your cars instead of watching television, you already saw the time and you turn it off".

2. Lie:
Lying is one of the elements most used by parents in communicating with their children, resulting in some of these characteristics:
Children who lie when threats are based on illogical or false things: Example: "If you do not eat a madman will take you instead", the child as he grows up will realize that his parents lied to him and will also use the lie as a strategy to be able to get others to do what he wants, the lie to manipulate. It is more feasible to motivate a child than to manipulate it; For example: "Eat so that you continue growing and you have strength to continue playing".
Challenging children when the warnings that their parents give them are not fulfilled: Example: When the father tells his son, "I will punish you if you hit your brother again" and the son hits his brother again but the father does not apply the discipline he said apply to repeat the misconduct.

Recommendations for Parents:
✓ Our words should always give our children confidence and security.
✓ Let's keep what we promise or warn.
✓ Let us not minimize the level of understanding of our children, we sometimes believe that it is necessary to use negative strategies such as lying and fear to achieve better results, however, a child responds better when properly motivated.

Rosanna Sakuma Arevalo
Master in Educational Administration

Diseñado por John Olano Mendoza. Derechos Reservados 2015